Blondies Good Bad and Ugly

With the holiday season among us, I want to share with y’all something I am so grateful to have realized this past year. Even though you might not see or feel it, love is all around you. 

Most often people spend the holidays with family. When I was young, I remember celebrating Christmas with so many people. Family would come to town Christmas Eve night to watch my siblings and I in the church Christmas play, then come back to the house and we would all open gifts. I remember our living room being so full: cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends. So many images flood my memory just thinking about it. The house was overflowing with laughter and love.

I know the holidays are tough for lots of people. Celebrating any season can be difficult when you don’t have family around. But family isn’t what makes it worth celebrating, it’s love. Love makes a family. Family is not just a connection between blood or marriage. In my eyes, family are the people who know you and love you. Family are the people you think of when something good happens and you want to tell someone. Family are the people who encourage you and support you. Family are the people you run to when you’ve messed up and need advice. Family are the people you can trust and count on. Family are the ones who are honest with you even when it’s hard. Family is love, not only blood or law. 

Understanding that love makes people family is something I’m grateful I understood when I was young. I was fortunate enough to make these family connections growing up. For example, one of my best friends since our awkward metal mouth days, Jadyn. She became my family the summer I turned 15, though she had been around long before that. What was supposed to be just a sleepover somehow became a weeklong stay. (Which then routinely happened every summer after. Sorry mom!) Sometimes we’re the total opposite, but other times we fit together like a puzzle piece. I’m forever grateful for her. 

I’ve made similar family connections while at college. During my first semester at UTA, I found a college ministry that has done nothing but pour into me and show me love. Through FOCUS, Fellowship of Christian University Students, I have met others who have invited me into their homes, fed me, supported me, prayed for me, and loved me. I have grown with them over the past three years and I consider them family. 

Love has multiple definitions, it’s not only described as this deep and personal connection. Love is in the stranger that smiles while passing you on the sidewalk, or the car letting you merge onto the interstate while in bumper to bumper traffic. Love is in the grumpy teenager who is going through a phase and doesn’t want to talk to their parents. (They might not see it now but they will. Trust me, I was one of them.) Love is in the grandparents raising their grandchildren, or the older sibling stepping up in place of (for whatever reason) an absent parent. Love is in the friends that become family.

Sometimes traditions don’t always last forever. As I got older, the full living room that I used to know on Christmas Eve became just a handful of people. The cousins grew up, some started their own families, and we’ve lost loved ones. Of course my siblings and I grew up too, so there was no more Christmas Eve play for anyone to come see us in. Instead, it became just us five; me, my parents and my siblings. Although it might have felt like all the excitement had left when everyone else did, that wasn’t true. Just because you don’t see that love every day, doesn’t mean that it’s not there. 

There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world, but there is so much to be grateful for this holiday season. Stir your cereal (those that get it, get it) and focus on all the love and blessing you have this year, instead of those that you wish you had. I was once told, “you’ve never looked at someone that Jesus doesn’t love,” and that just reminds me of my place. It might not be our first reaction, but it’s easy to be kind and love others. John 15:12 reads, “… Love one another as I have loved you.” This season can be a tough one, but know that it’s not meant to be. Try to see the love around you. Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned, smile at the stranger on the street and tell your friends and family you love them. 

If you’ve read this far, thank you! Wishing y’all a Merry Christmas!