Blondies Good Bad and Ugly

What’s something that you wished you would have learned earlier in life? For me, I wish I would have learned that you can watch others achieve their goals and be happy for them, yet still wonder when it will be your turn. I know I am not the only one. 

I’m 21 years old but I’ve lost count over all the times I’ve feared I was running out of time to do things. I have a friend from high school who is about to welcome her first baby. Two more got engaged this week, and others are graduating and going to grad school. Typing this out, I can see how silly it might sound, but you should know that I went to a very small high school. I had less than 50 people in my class, so in my eyes, it seems as though a majority have already accomplished big life goals. 

I’m only 21 years old, I have plenty of time, but it doesn’t always feel like that. I have goals in mind that I want to accomplish before I hit some of life’s big milestones. But sometimes seeing other people have those things now makes me wonder if I’m doing it wrong. Truthfully, I don’t want to think about grad school at the moment. I definitely don’t want to be thinking about marriage or children either. Sure, I’d love to be a wife and mom but I’ve got plenty of other things to do before there is a little child running around calling me “momma”. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them! Those who are engaged, getting married and starting families, I think it’s great! Even so, I know these are things I don’t want for several more years, so why do I even bother comparing where I am in my life with where they’re at in theirs? Comparison is the thief of joy. How silly is it to compare where we are at in our life to someone who has different goals for theirs? 

One thing that helps pull me out of that fear, (the fear that I’m falling behind) is telling myself that everyone lives life on their own timeline. Some people get married young and to others that sounds like the worst idea ever. Some people graduate with their PhD before they’re thirty years old while others don’t want to go to college. Some people have goals to build a career for themselves, and others have goals to settle down and start a family. The matter is, we all do it on our own time.  

So why do we compare ourselves? Sometimes I think it’s because we forge a path for ourselves that is different from what others want of us. That person who wants to go to school and establish a career might have a mother pushing them to find someone and settle down. What about the woman who wants to marry young and have a family? She might have society telling her that women can do other things than raise children. (To each their own, women can do many things, including raising babies and having successful careers. So can men.) 

It is easy to be confident in ourselves when we know what we want and are successful while working towards it. However, the minute things seem to feel rocky, many of us start to compare our path to those around us. We see others succeed while our progress feels stagnant and we start to feel behind. 

If you find yourself wondering when you’ll accomplish those goals that everyone else seems to be achieving, then I want to remind you of something. In this life, you’ll do far greater things than you could have hoped for. And need I remind you, God has a plan for your life. A plan where all things work together. Learn to look for the lessons and see the growth through your waiting. We just need to be patient with our timeline, be happy for those who are succeeding, and remember that God sees the things we cannot. He knows exactly when to make those dreams a reality.