Blondies Good Bad and Ugly

When I was a kid, I hated waking up for school. I’m pretty sure I pulled the sick card three days out of the week. My mom would open the door to our room and flick the light a few times to wake us girls up. My sister never gave her much of an issue. Myself on the other hand? I would roll over on the top bunk, groan and pull the pillow over my head. 

Once I finally accepted my terrible fate (that I had to get up and spend my whole day being a third grader), I would kick the covers off and climb down the ladder. Following the sounds of popping grease and the local news channel playing, I’d shuffle down the hallway rubbing my eyes. I would find Mom standing over the stove, flipping bacon in her robe, while my dad was standing in front of the T.V. with a coffee mug in his hand. 

“Another day in paradise!” Dad would say. Like clockwork every morning, he was eager to get his day started. At the time we had no idea what he was talking about, my siblings and I would roll our eyes every time we would hear the phrase. He was always eager and ready for the day. (Whether or not it was a front to get us kids out the door, I’ll never know.) 

Mornings in our house were never quiet, so it didn’t feel like a paradise to me. Think about it: a house full of kids, occasionally a dog or two, and parents trying to rush us out the door so we can feed barn animals and make it to the bus on time. (We weren’t exactly the whispering type.) Looking back, I can see how it was my parents’ paradise. My siblings and I were healthy, we were always kept busy with extracurriculars or other things we enjoyed doing. My parents were healthy, they loved each other and enjoyed the work they did. They built the life they wanted together, so in a sense, it was their paradise. 

I have been learning that life is going to be what you make out of it. Put in the work and you’ll get results. Personally, I used to have a real bad habit of letting my emotions dictate my actions. If I was feeling nervous, anxious, or anything slightly off, I would cancel plans without giving it a second thought. I chose to stay in my comfort zone where it was safe. But, you know what never happens in your comfort zone? Growth! If we’re comfortable, we’re not growing. Author Neale Donald Walsh said it best in his book, Conversations With God, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. 

 I spent some of my spring break at home and being there made me think about those mornings when I was young. I was talking with my brother, Dakota, about what we think it means to “build your paradise”, and his thoughts were not what I was expecting to come from my little brother. “Have control over your negative thoughts by thinking about how you want to see yourself in the future,” Dakota said. 

It’s not that I don’t agree with him, I just wasn’t expecting such a mature answer from him. Dakota thinks that self-discipline is a big part of building your paradise, knowing what you want and having a logical plan to achieve it. He went on to explain that when he is making decisions, he tries to think about how it could affect him in the long run rather than right now. Our emotions should not dictate what we do with our life. 

I listened to a podcast by Leo Skepi titled, Aware and Aggravated. (Fair warning, he is most definitely aware and delivers his message in a tone that gets the point across. Some might think it’s a little aggressive, but it’s subjective.) He put out an episode a while back titled, Lack of Discipline Makes You Ugly. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) Anyway, in this specific episode, Skepi mentions how discipline is tied into our emotions and the way we view ourselves. When I was talking with Dakota, it reminded me of what I heard in this episode. 

“If we can’t control our actions when feeling different emotions, we’ll always feel insecure.” If we choose to skip out on plans because we’re nervous or uncertain, then we will always be nervous or uncertain. There is a level of discipline required to control your emotions when feeling different emotions. When you stop letting your emotions dictate your response to situations, you stop becoming a victim to your feelings. 

Let me encourage you in a much less aggressive way. Scripture tells us not to lean on our own understanding. Logical thinking does not come from the heart, despite what we were told growing up. Jeremiah 17:9 reads, “A human heart is more dishonest than anything else…” We don’t always know what is best for us at an exact moment. To work towards our own paradise, we should practice discipline and think about our future and the way we would want to remember ourselves looking back. Think about how you see yourself in the future; what kind of decisions does that version of yourself make? Start making those decisions now. Build your paradise!